I have to admit that the way I've been brought from absolute skepticism and atheism of 6 or 7 years ago - where i would block anyone talking about spirits, or god, to where i am now, has been very skillfully handled by my guides. And Rich passing over was my catalyst for prioritising spiritual development ahead of material development. Thank you, Rich, I think you may have been an angel.

Rich brought me back into the UFO world after I met him in 2015. At that point I was 100% skeptical about all of it, and an atheist. Part of me thinks I needed that experience of being a skeptic, to build it all back from first principles. 

As a child I was convinced that we reincarnated. I believed in god. I wanted to have spiritual experiences. A bad experience in church at age 10 sent me into atheism. My Dad got me interested in UFOs. My mum got me interested in spirits and ghosts. But I had an innate spirituality already - which I'm assuming was carried over from pre-birth. Christianity disappointed me, and while Buddhism offered more, it was very difficult for a working class kid in south west of England to access.

I found it hard to cut through the bullshit, and gradually materialism/ science, ensnared me and I became materialistic - i looked for mundane answers in a mundane, reality where conscientiousness itself was doubted by science. Engineering was worse than most fields because there were those who believed that consciousness - or the illusion of consciousness - could be created by technology.

I started meditating in my 20s. I saw a ghost in my teens, my mum spoke to dead relatives via a medium and then when i was 27 i met a woman who could do magick. Self described witch, who was an only daughter of an only daughter of an only daughter. So that all opened me up again but not necessarily in a good way as I became scared of spirits. I became scared of the dark. I had very bad dreams. I saw the Glastonbury lights in 2004 - a whole constellation of lights moving across the sky. 

But I saw more ghosts - she saw them all the time - and I recognised that I had had out of body experiences as a child. And we had moments where we could message each other telepathically.

I also met a guy when i was about 25 who was very into esoteric thought and philosophy  so he taught me a bunch of stuff that i am only now building on.

oh and the universe delivered me a copy of John Keel's Mothman Prophecies when i was about 10 - and also gave me a UFO experience to compare to the ones I read about in books.

And my ex - the witch - she started appearing in my dreams and giving me information that I did not otherwise have access to. I'm not even sure she was conscious of doing it. Though she was abusive - I do think she helped me in many ways - she taught me a lot of stuff, and gave me experiences I would not have had otherwise. She was part of my journey. After leaving her I rejected her and everything she stood for - I reacted against her spirituality by becoming a skeptic and doubting the reality of all my spiritual experiences.

I only came back to spirituality via Rich's interest in UFOs, which brought me to consciousness and meditation (plus meditation sessions at work) and slowly I had revelation after revelation drip fed to me - and Rich getting sick made him open up about his spirituality. When he passed over I was having very good responses to my meditation and some good outcomes in experiments in energy magic (if that's the correct terminology). The situation I was in at that time... huge stresses, massive anxiety, long, hard days of caring for Rich, having to wrench us from our home to this new place, and sorting everything out, scared about our futures, etc. led to something unexpected - I became spiritual again. Rich reached me from the other side a few times, early on, and in order to contact him I found a medium who's wife is now teaching me to use my latent abilities (which we all have).

So I say all this as I'm just trying to sort it all out in my head. I am nothing special either as millions are being brought into the light - I believe. Times they really are a changing. Millions of us will go out and bring even more millions. Ascension is here....

The answers have always been there - but our society has made them all but taboo. Western religion has been stripped of all spirituality - we just leave all that stuff to a representative who we see once a week (if that).

Dream

 I was back with an old girlfriend from the 90s. She was considering whether to start a relationship with me but told me that she hoped I wasn't like I was before - and I said, I'd changed a huge amount since then, for the better. She had a little girl - who hadn't aged a bit from how she looked in real life about 25 years ago. The little girl followed me round through the rest of the dream. I was in a big house. It was owned by the creator of a famous sit com, and he looked like the old man who was in his famous sit com. I was working for him. There were hordes of people in the house working for him. and not doing much when they were in the house.

I was watching the latest episodes of the famous sit com and then when i was in the company of the old man who created it, I said something complimentary about it but got shushed by my ex girlfriend, and she tried to hint something. I worked it out, the old man no longer wrote the sit com, he'd been sacked from it and it was now written by someone else, and he was extremely upset by this, so my mentioning of the sit com and especially my reference to the recent plot which he had a big problem with was a big faux pas. The recent episode had a plot twist which completely changed the meaning of all the episodes going back to the beginning which is why he was particularly pissed off. And my ex was looking very disappointed, like, I hadn't really changed.

I'd bought some sweaters and a jacket to give to the old man but nobody would tell me where his wardrobe was, so I was looking everywhere, and my ex's little girl was just walking along with me, not saying anything. Downstairs was a huge room with opaque glass walls and i thought there might be a wardrobe in there. So on the way there, there was little crowd around us, and a guy right behind us said something about there being mumps outbreak in the house and we shouldn't really be just walking about like this. I explained about the sweaters and jacket. Also there was an issue here about some people being potentially bothered about me being with the little girl but that came to nothing.

So he and some others took the clothes off me and went into the glass room, but I was told not to follow them. I found that if i got really close to the glass walls i could see through, and it wasn't a room, it was outdoors and they were standing looking at the clothes i'd bought for the old man. All this time I'd been feeling pretty bad, and then when i woke up i had a sinus headache and nasal pains.

dream diary

 I was in my aunt's house. Something was going on with the window sills. The walls were thick and the windows were small, very old fashioned country cottage stile, with this odd blind on it that was made of of strips of carboard like material, washed with blue green paint, and it was delicate, so it disintegrated slightly when i moved it. I was doing something to things that were on the window sills, but i don't remember what. I tried to put the blinds back as it was. As I did so i noticed a spider in pouncing position between the two halves. 

Walking through a communal area in some sort of space ship. There were people sitting at tables. One table were holding airfix style models, in the their boxes. I saw an enterprise model. The others were all space ships. I knew that the spaceships were all real and i deduced from that that I was in the Star Trek universe. 

Finally I was in a Russian wilderness next to a river. The land was absolutely barren. then I saw a humn like figure that wasn't human, possibly much larger than a human, was flexing and flopping about like it was an inflatable figure being moved by the wind. I asked the person I was with why were going near to it as it looked dangerous, 

photographs

 I love photos of old Britain - which i define as 1960s to 1970s - the UK I remember from my early childhood. 

I'll be posting up some of these, that I find as I go along... none of them are mine though. I'll try to credit the appropriate people if I can. 

These were taken in Todmorden, Lancashire. 

Connaught Park, Dover (7km walk)

 

Synchronicity

 

This is a key synchronicity for me. I tend to see them at particular moments of importance to my spiritual uplifting. This was when I pulled over to Tweet about somehting that had just happened, and of course a silver coloured (technically called "metallic" by VW I believe) VW Golf Mk 5 was right there while i was Tweeting. I hadn't seen it till after I stopped. 

Listening to BBC 6Music, and Tony Visconti is talking about how, during Low sessions in Berlin Bowie got everyone in the studio to listen to "weeping Wall", including Iggy Pop, and then draw what they thought the track was about. They all pretty much drew the same thing, without being able to see what everyone else had drawn, which is the outcome Bowie wanted. Since the track is an abstract instrumental then this is a huge coincidence.

As Visconti said, Bowie had "special powers" I got chills & goosebumps, & right there was a silver mark 5 Golf & the chills became overwhelming. Then 6Music played the track and my chills continued through the track. I have them again now and there is a 2nd silver Golf right here!!

Full story here 

Today's Card

And I saw this photo of David Bowie today - and it strongly appealed to me. 

 

Dover beach

 

St Mary's Bay / Dymchurch sea wall.

Back on my normal route today which allowed me to connect back to the sea. The weather responded by giving me the first sunny day for a couple of weeks. I saw 3 silver VW Golf mk 5s - the sign that I recognise to tell me I'm doing well, or as encouragement to keep going - a synchronicity of you like because they seem to pop up almost everywhere i go. 6/7 years ago I told myself that silver was a popular colour for a popular car but now that this car hasn't been manufactured for about 15 years, they must be getting rarer. I first noticed them because I owned one myself, so it was that thing when you do seem to notice cars that look like your car. but I lost this car due to severe structural failure back in 2019 - Rich dubbed it "death-trap Bertha" when we took it for its last trip to Morrisons supermarket for our large weekly shop. In 2020 we bought a Renault and I expected that I would see Renault's similar to mine everywhere, and I haven't, I continue to see the silver mk 5 Golfs. I have now come to associate this with receiving guidance from my guides, helpers, soul group, loved ones on the others side, in particular, Rich who has never left me. 

I took these during as short break after I finished work in St Mary's Bay. 

today's card

 

New Beginnings

 When the top card in a new pack of Oracle cards look like you....

New beginnings indeed. 

Esther

I used the Snapseed app to make this photo look as good as it does. Photographing black cats in dim light is never easy - but look at this!! 

update

 Woke up from a  dream this morning. I had a sheet - like a poster - it folded out, there were creases, so maybe came with a DC or a DVD, and there were photos of bands on it, with words. It was a tie in with a CD or a music stream. I was with someone (ex?) and we tended to go through these sheets without the music, but looked up the artists and tracks on Youtube to listen together. This time the stream seemed to be working and the first song played - a completely made up song that as far as i can remember was a good song, and complete, though I can't remember it. The group was fronted by a woman and I seem to remember she wore a black dress. The song had been covered by Blondie. But it's not a song that exists outside of my dream. 

I think we were riding bikes and I was playing guitar (country music). There was a small device which I strapped to my hand and it helped me play the guitar better. 

Yesterday while looking at pictures of Rich, and getting a little upset, my computer screen went off - twice I think, quite close to each other. Soon after that I had the strong feeling someone was rubbing my head, and I thought I saw something ( a hand) in my left peripheral vision. 

dream diary

 I have been sleeping a lot lately. And that means a lot of dreaming. 

My earlier dream recall has largely disappeared which means i need to sort out a notepad and pen to put by the side of my bed for when i wake up and remember dreams. 

But I do remember a dream that involved travelling to the moon. I cycled to the moon. Well, many of us were able to go up to the upper earth's atmosphere and it did feel very close to the moon in my dream. Then I mounted a bike to take me closer to the moon, where though i didn't land on it, i was within it's orbit for a short time. I think landing on the moon was a bit risky - you might not be able to leave it again. Or breathe. 

Then there was more but it's largely gone. 

Later, in the late morning, I dreamt that David Bowie's Twitter account had gone to wrack and ruin and had even had hackers posting nob jokes on it. There was a comedian in my dream too, who had died, and who had similar Twitter account issues. I was quite keen to take control of the comedian's Twitter and save it from being trashed, which reminds me of how I felt about Rich's Twitter account after he died - alas such a thing was not possible as Rich hadn't left me his log in details. 

Also I really don't want to read Rich's messages to others as they were personal and I might find some of them hurtful, so I don't want to know. 

David Bowie's son turned up in my dream and offered me a possible job looking after Bowie's Twitter account post mortem, and he came round my flat. The flat was a big square corner unit in a high rise, and it had a reasonable view, 180 degrees windows, and a balcony all the way round with loads of young buzzy intellectual arty types all sitting out there drinking and chatting, and the flat was pretty full up inside too - with young Duncan Jones's entourage taking up most of the space. Some were obviously attracted to my flat by the presence o0f a celebrity too. I was sat watching a screen with alternative music playing on it trying to be ultra cool for Duncan J. He was transitioning in my dream and looked somewhere between a man and a woman, and was talking about the skin under his chin being too flabby. I felt that talking to him was difficult because i couldn't really hear what he was saying, relying on physicality and gestures more than spoken words. He did confirm I might be able to take over his father's Twitter account and also that my flat my be a good hang out for him in future - he had minions checking me out - checking out the neighbours, etc. they wanted to attract as little attention as they could. Duncan's home was in Egypt and I noticed Egyptian attire. 

dream diary

 I'd just got a new job - same employee (my actual employee until I retired), but different department. There were 20 or 30 of us in a small room, working at terminals, it felt like it was underground, and fairly ancient. I didn't really know anyone that I was working with yet, and I'd just heard that I was being moved to a different location in the north. I had to get a tube train there which arrived on a street next to a sort of lowered basin where there were a lot of different works going on. It looked a bit like a river basin, but no water, and it was hundreds of feet wide, about 60 or 70 feet deep. I got off the train, which was now a street train with tyres, and no tracks. I didn't really know where i was going, but i had directions in a book. I dropped the book into some mud at the bottom of the cliff which was right next to me, so I had to go to find the book. This felt like an area in London with a large number of rail intersections, like Acton, but it wasn't Acton. I looked and found a path down to the ground in the basin. Then I was in the basin, and it was a strange landscape, some bits concreted, some bits unmade, some bits had been built on. I found myself in a complex of dilapidated industrial buildings that were mostly secure. There were guard dogs but they were breeds entirely unsuited to being guard dogs, such as little fluffy terriers and other miniature breeds. One came at me and I shut the door on him, while others were looking at me through holes in doors and walls. I was more afraid of them barking than attacking me. I realised i was stuck so i shouted to a work crew that I'd noticed and told them i was lost. there was one woman on the crew and though she was not happy she was very sympathetic and tried to help me. We were suddenly on top of a hill looking down and i could see the whole landscape of the basin, which was huge. And i could see a path where i needed to go. I asked her anyway and she told me to follow the ground and in the dream i knew what she meant.

Then i was in a room, like the room i started in, with lots of desks, lots of people, and i had my book back, but dropped it again. The book was under a desk, covered in spilt tea. I tried to retrieve it. Then there was a conversation about me really liking and wanting to be friends with one of the other women in the room.

I had a strange dream the other day where I was walking up the path to knock on a door, and as I go to the door and knocked there came a knocking on my real life door and woke me up. Coincidence?